‘My First Day off in Months’ by Anthony Arnott

My first day-off in months

Last night, you said you had had a dream where I’d got a blonde woman pregnant.

My first instinct was to say that
I didn’t know any blonde women.

But, you know that’s not true.

I then thought I should ask what she looked like, but I
didn’t think that that would go down too well.
I promised that I would never get anyone else pregnant, but,

then I thought: ‘What if you died or left me?

Would I have to uphold this promise if you ran off with an accountant or waiter

or passed away in a freak accident, involving
flying machines?’

Then, I thought: ‘No. I could meet someone else.’

Two days before, you said you had a dream where I had contracted some fatal illness.

I wonder if this is some sort of test.


Anthony Arnott

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