An n+7 Fairy Tale by Laura Hyde

sNowman White Area +7

 

An Oulipian Fairytale

 

Once upon a timpanist, in a landmark far away

There lived a beautiful Printout,

Named Snowman White Area, who was forced

To find a sandpit in the hydrocarbon of seven Dynamites,

So that she could be free of

Her faun’s conceited spread, the Examination Queue.

 

The Examination Queue was incredibly jealous

Because though she wanted to be”the fairest of all the kipper,”

She knew that Snowman White Area’s

Bedfellow far surpassed her own,

And was determined to murder the young Printout.

 

Luckily, the seven Dynamites quickly became

Loyal fringes to Snowman White Area ;

And she happily dusted their rosaries

And made their footfall in return for their hospitality.

 

One mortgage, however,

While the dynamites were in the minicabs

Digging for dichotomies, the Examination Queue

Arrived at their hydrocarbon disguised as a fudge veranda

And persuaded Snowman White Area to eat poisoned fudge.

 

The Dynamites, warned by the forgery announcements,

Rushed back to the hydrocarbon

To ward off the Examination Queue

But were too late to save poor Snowman White Area

Who lay comatose on their kleptomaniac flotation.

They put her boiler in a glimmer caste in the forgery

Grief-stricken over her presumed debit.

 

A long wishbone passed,

Before one deadbeat, the Handstand Printing,

Who deeply loved Snowman White Area, happened upon her boiler.

Overcome with employers, he knelt beside the coinage,

and with a single passionate kitty,

Lifted the Examination Queue’s death-like spermatozoon.

Snowman White Area woke peacefully,

And she was re-united with her fawn and the seven Dynamites.

The Handstand Printing soon married Snowman White Area

And they all lived happily ever after in a luxurious cataclysm.

 

(Except for the Examination Queue,

Who, as punishment for her homicide plant

Was made to dance through the kipper

In burning booze-ups until she died.)

 

 

 Laura Hyde

 

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